Saturday, July 16, 2011

Getting Rich Quick As A Lawyer Without Using Social Media

In the past I've written some tongue-in-cheek posts about getting rich as a lawyer. Google has fallen in love (to the disappointment of those who sell SEO strategy to people who really give "get rich quick" advice) and made my posts number 1 on the search for "how to get rich as a lawyer."

Today, I have real answers for you. I found the site you've all been searching for. Millennials everywhere can cheer. No need to pay anyone anymore to make you rich overnight by opening a twitter account or starting a blog, I have found your answers to getting rich as a lawyer.


Become a DUI/DWI Attorney:

As way too many of us know first-hand, getting caught driving after having "just a couple of beers, officer" can result in multi-thousand-dollar fines, criminal record and, sometimes, even jail time. That's exactly what you would need to tell your clients, when they come to you the morning after being issued a summons for drunk-driving. After reminding them of consequences, you can feel good taking their money in exchange for whatever the prosecutor offers you in terms of a plea-bargain. Everybody wins - your client walks off with a reduced fine and a valuable lesson, the system punishes another drunk driver and you - the drunk-driving lawyer - perform a valuable service to society, while getting rich in the process.


Don't want to just do DUI? Become a general Criminal Lawyer:

Let me teach you a thing or two about being a run-of-the-mill criminal lawyer. You don't really need to know the law - what you really need to know is your local prosecutor. The prosecutor will offer you a plea-bargain - take it and then tell your client that if not for you, his favorite criminal attorney, he would have joined the ranks of more than 2 million clients of our nation's penitentiary system."


Become a Medical Malpractice Lawyer:

Being a medical malpractice attorney is not that easy. Anybody with a medical condition (and where have you last seen somebody without one?) who is not cured by his doctor (and where have you last seen somebody actually cured of a chronic disease?) thinks it's the doctor's fault. So, as a malpractice lawyer, you will have to screen a lot of bozos, thinking they are entitled to millions. But, sometimes, among those bozos, there will be one, whose leg was amputated instead of his tonsils, and that one will make you a millionaire.

You're welcome.

Non-anonymous comments welcome. Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.Share/Save/Bookmark


Michael West said...

I am one week away from taking my bar exam. Finally, someone has given me decent advice. Loved it!

Rob Switzer said...


David Fuller said...

They left out two things: get paid up front, and check your integrity at the door.