One of the things I hear from fellow lawyers all the time is that I don't need to write about the people that have no business selling advice to lawyers, because according to them, no one is stupid enough to hire them, except all the firms that do.
Well now here comes a company that is everything lawyers should look for in a marketing company.
I give you... huhcorp.com
Their motto, sorry, tagline: "We do stuff."
Welcome to the world's most dynamic eBusiness marketing, design and consulting agency. We provide distinct clients with groundbreaking business strategies and cutting-edge designs to aggressively and creatively compete in a changing economy.
Our consulting ideas will entice and excite you. Our professional design solutions will give you the confidence to succeed. And our web site will make you think we know what we're doing.
And they have a strategy for those desperate lawyers thinking that there were only a couple of lying pieces of shit out there selling you on the dream:
Our main consulting strategy is to convince clients that we do stuff they can't do themselves, and that we deserve lots of money for it. The best way to do this is to always look good, and always sound like we know something you don't. Because we do.
Are you confused yet? Of course you are. And that's just how we like it. Our marketing professionals are constantly coming up with new ways to make you feel inferior and stupid. Because you are. And we're not. We're new-age, eMoving, marketing consultants.
And while I'm always wondering why my lawyer guru friends don't happen to talk about their vast list of imaginary clients, huhcorp entices you:
Our marketing and consultant clients are numerous and prestigious. Far too numerous and prestigious to name, in fact. You'll just have to take our word on this. There are a lot of them. And they're all really big, successful companies. All of our clients are very powerful and have lots and lots of money. That's why we charge so much for our design and marketing services. Because we can.
Our clients are always satisfied with our service. If you knew who any of them were, you could confirm this for yourself, but, since you don't, you'll just have to take our word on this one too.
This is the real deal people. But don't trust me, call for yourself.
As my critics out there say - I don't need to tell you.
Anonymous comments are welcome as long as they say something relevant and half-way intelligent and arent a vehicle for a coward to attack someone. I trust you understand.
Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.