Friday, April 14, 2017

Raquel Ruano, Massachusetts Best (Worst Marketing) Attorney

This crap is still going on. Lawyers hiring marketers, not paying attention to the unethical and cheesy ways they try to game Google for their lawyer-clients, and I'm done reaching out to these idiot lawyers to ask them to ask their marketers to stop. "Oh gee Brian, I didn't know they do that." 

No, you didn't care, "Get me on the first page of Google" is where your ethics end.

So, as often occurs, comments pop up on old blog posts of mine, and they look like this: 

Amanda Ruano commented on your blog post

Superb post, You made me remember that day when I was caught in police misconduct and cops arrested me but thanks to my friend she referred me and attorney was so experienced that she

I didn't cut off the comment, that's how it appears.

Amanda, who I guess is a relative of Ruano, isn't really Amanda, she's the fake name for a cheeseball marketer . Why, because gaming Google. 

So, as usual, I went to check out the latest silly lawyer with their silly marketing skillz, and went to

Low and behold, I hit the jackpot. Amanda's shitty marketing doesn't end with her Google gaming paid marketer.

Let's begin with this:

Amanda Ruano? Really? This attorney's relative is her best testimonial? Does this lawyer want people to know she's representing her family members in legal trouble? 


She is Massachusetts BEST ATTORNEY.

Has she been practicing 30, 40, 50 years?

Attorney Raquel D. Ruano primarily focuses her practice on criminal defense and related civil litigation in state and federal courts. She is an experienced litigator with extensive courtroom experience.
After graduating of the College of the Holy Cross (BA, Cum Laude 2000) and Boston College Law Law School (JD, 2003), she became a Massachusetts Trial Court judicial law clerk for one year following graduation.
So Raquel has earned this distinction by building a practice and taking on some of Massachusetts most important cases?
Bite your tongue.
Raquel then became "Assistant Corporation Counsel for the City of Boston in the Litigation Department.  There she handled various civil cases ranging from personal injury to civil rights violations (ex: cases involving excessive force by police).  After 2012, she continued her civil practice as the First Assistant City Attorney for the City of Lawrence.  In addition, at the City of Lawrence, she briefed appeals in the Massachusetts Court of Appeals and United States Court of Appeals for the First Circuit."
So Raquel has been Massachusetts BEST ATTORNEY after being in private practice for.... maybe 5 years?
Question: Why does Massachusetts BEST ATTORNEY need to hire a marketer to leave spam comments on my little blog out of Miami?

Maybe since my blog is so attractive to Raquel's practice, Google will pick up on this post to help market her as the BEST ATTORNEY IN MASSACHUSETTS.
Located in Miami and Tallahassee, Florida, Brian Tannebaum defends lawyers before the Bar when he's not defending those charged with criminal offenses in state and federal court. He is the author of The Practice: Brutal Truths About Lawyers And Lawyering. Share/Save/Bookmark

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

United Airlines Conduct Was "Totally Legal"

When you saw the video of that guy being dragged off the United Airlines flight, I trust your first thought was "man, that's terrible."

My first thought was "man, someone is going to defend that."

And so it developed, like every other video on the Internet: 1. initial shock, 2. eventual apologists for the people engaging in the "shocking" conduct.

"He should have just gotten up and left the plane."

"The others got up."

"This is what happens when we don't do everything the cops say."

"What was United supposed to do?"

And my personal favorite:

"You know, what United did was totally legal."

Let's focus on that last one.

I'm a lawyer, and as a lawyer, I will say this:

What United did was totally legal.

They did nothing illegal. They will not be charged with a crime. They violated no laws. They called the police because someone (who was first allowed on the plane (watch for that argument in the civil suit)) did not comply with the totally legal random process of asking for volunteers.

It was totally legal. IT WAS LEGAL, PEOPLE. LEGAL!!!

Let me tell you what else is legal:

1. Refusing to apologize when you unintentionally bump in to someone.

2. A restaurant refusing to comp your meal or give you a free dessert when they screw up your order.

3. Forgetting your anniversary.

4. A hotel starting housekeeping service 5 a.m.

5. Failing to extend condolences.

6. A prosecutor seeking the maximum penalty on every case.

7. Being home on Halloween in a neighborhood full of kids and refusing to open the door and give out candy.

8. Telling people to drop dead on Christmas.

9. Taking your kids to Disney World and telling them they cannot ride anything or see Mickey Mouse.

All the above is "totally legal."

Located in Miami and Tallahassee, Florida, Brian Tannebaum defends lawyers before the Bar when he's not defending those charged with criminal offenses in state and federal court. He is the author of The Practice: Brutal Truths About Lawyers And Lawyering. Share/Save/Bookmark