Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Blog Bonus: Today I Practiced Law In Starbucks

Frequent or even rare readers of this blog know that I believe the downfall of the legal profession is people with law degrees and law licenses who call themselves "lawyers" spending their days practicing law (read: "not really practicing law") in Starbucks.

The Starbucks across from my office, which is across from a courthouse, is (in my mind) a tribute to me - there are no tables or chairs. You can go in, stand in line, buy your coffee, low fat blueberry muffin, suicidal CD, and then you can leave.

Every other Starbucks has couches, chairs, tables, and the coveted outlet for the essential laptop that gains access to the most important (and free) wi-fi.

Today a witness in a case called me and wanted to meet. The witness did not want to come to my office. Being that this is an important witness in an important case, I turned on my nice guy hat and said "where would you like to meet?"


So I drove over to a Starbucks where the typical "Starbucks Lawyer" worked. There was all the appropriate furniture. I walked in, saw a couple guys in suits with "I am terribly important" dorky bluetooth things in their ears, a fat guy who was either sleeping or dead in a big comfy chair, and a couple t-shirt wearing kids with laptops who were either in school, unemployed, lottery winners, or "lawyers."

I met with the witness for an hour, and left.

The best part of leaving, was noticing that the same people I saw when I came in - those same people who always tell me that "people don't go there and hang out all day and mooch wifi and drink one cup of coffee," were still there.

They're probably still there.

Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.Share/Save/Bookmark


Richard Hershberger said...

I think you are behind the curve on the bluetooth thingies. They are past the "I am terribly important" phase of conspicuous display in the same cell phones (and before that, car phone) did. You are right about them being dorky, though.

mirriam said...

He's behind the curve on a lot more than just that. I've starbucks lawyered it on several occasions and find it really odd that you are so concerned with how long people hang out there. I mean, did you time them? Do you know if maybe they came in a few minutes before you and left a minute after you did. Or did you wait in your car to see if they stayed for much more time?

Still. This post is awesome in ten million ways. I am definitely bookmarking it for later review.

My Law License said...

Uh, actually, the bluetooth ear thing is still, and will always be, for self important folks, and those that really miss Star Trek. It's one step below those that keep their phone on their belt, especially on the weekends.

And no, I didn't time anyone, I just happened to notice that the same people were there when I left as when I came in. I'm good that way. Both eyes work