A Lesson From Social Media/Tech Lawyer Evangelists: Do As I Say, Because I Don't Do

hy·poc·ri·sy (h-pkr-s)
n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

[Middle English ipocrisie, from Old French, from Late Latin hypocrisis, play-acting, pretense, from Greek hupokrisis, from hupokrnesthai, to play a part, pretend

As I continue to watch the sewer that has become social media for lawyers on the internet, I wonder why the real lawyers, the ones who practice law as a profession, haven't risen up and told the others to get the hell out.

Actually, I don't wonder that much, as there are plenty that will take advice from a non-practicing lawyer on the latest tech toy that will be a "game changer."

A new application ("app" for today's tech lawyer that can't use any words with more than 5 letters) was recently released for the iPad. You know the iPad, every lawyer MUST have one?

It's called TrialPad. Some folks right here in Miami developed it, and it's all the buzz.

The idea behind Trial Pad?

Litigators know that presenting evidence electronically is a winning strategy for large, high profile cases. But the cost of this persuasive presentation tactic was always prohibitive for smaller matters, and learning curve for available technologies was steep.

In response, legal tech evangelist and lawyer Nicole Black (who doesn't read anything I write because apparently I've been "globally filtered" out of her social media world from what I hear) wrote a review:

I tried it out a few times, but it wasn’t until I sat through a demo with the developer at LegalTech in Manhattan last week that I truly realized how useful this app will be for litigators.

Then she goes on and in part says:

Using TrialPad, you can simply and easily control the presentation of evidence to a jury. You can highlight and annotate documents in real time, drawing the jurors attention to important aspects of the document.

The TrialPad interface is intuitive and easy to use, making trial preparation and presentation more effective.

And of course, like all good tech evangelists that subscribe to my theory of the self fulfilling prophecy, she ends:

...mark my words, within the next 2 years, trial presentation software such as TrialPad on tablet computers will be the norm in the courtroom.

"Everyone will have one."

But here's the problem.

When you write about new tech being essential for lawyers, and you present yourself as a lawyer who is also a tech evangelist, you're going to get this type of question from let's say someone like... criminal lawyer Nicole Farnum, who asks:

@nikiblack have you used it yet?

Well of course she's used it, why else would she be saying how easy it was to use in a jury trial? Why else would she say it will be the norm in the courtroom? Why else?

@nicoleruns I've tested it out but I don't litigate at this point in my career, so I haven't used it at trial.

Oh?

Oh.

We'll get back to that in a minute.

As I said in the beginning of this post, play acting is a definition of hypocrisy, and there is no better place to play act than as a lawyer on the internet playing with shiny toys and social media.

My good friend and lawyer Adrian Dayton, who has decided his best offense against my continued questioning of his complete lack of rainmaking experience, is to crawl in to a hole and not answer any questions, was recently interviewed about his "career" teaching lawyers how to tweet and use other forms of social media to make money.



Now this is an impressive looking interview, even with the host not able to control his laughter at 1:41. It's always great to be interviewed. It gives you the "organic" following Adrian talks about so much. It makes a lawyer with 8 months experience in a law firm, look like someone we all should hire to give us rainmaking advice.

So I asked Adrian if this was an interview he was asked to participate in, or whether he paid for it.

No answer.

Why not?

He paid for it.

It's totally fake. It's play acting.

But it looks real.

When people with law degrees claim authority over anything in the legal profession, whether it be the toys of Apple, or the keys to social media, lawyer ears perk up. "We're one of you," they say. But they are nothing more than "passionate" about toys and tweets. They don't use any of them to practice law, and never will.

I have no issues with lawyers who don't practice law. Plenty don't, and have started businesses, work at charities, work in other professions, become President of the United States, or do nothing.

But to all those that left the practice and are using their "lawyer" moniker to play act and try to gain relevance and authority over real, practicing lawyers, I have some advice:

Shut the fuck up and go away.

Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.

Can We All Just Shut Up About Social Media Changing The World, And Actually Change The World?

Self-fulfilling prophecy:

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior.

The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come 'true'.

In other words, a prophecy declared as truth when it is actually false may sufficiently influence people, either through fear or logical confusion, so that their reactions ultimately fulfill the once-false prophecy.

There is no question, no debate, that social media has changed the way we communicate. The telephone did that too. So did the fax machine, and e-mail.

But we still talk to people (not as much), and we still fill restaurants with groups of people wanting good food and good conversation.

What we fail to understand, is that there is a group of people out there who are "selling" social media as a career, and it is they who spend their days telling everyone else that you are either involved in social media, or dead.

If I sold Toyotas, I would spend my days trying to convince others that Toyota was the best car. Sure, there's other ways to get around, but according to me, it would be about the Toyota, and nothing else.

This is how people in social media work. Their "jobs" are nothing more than selling all of us on something that is otherwise free and readily available. They try to convince others that they know the secrets, and that even though they have never had business success, you can if you just write them a check.

You think that's funny? People do it every day.

The drum continues to beat, because it has to in order for these social media salespeople to survive.

And I'm tired of it.

The latest defense of social media is from Entrepreneur.com: Tearing Down the Walls: How social media is changing everything about the way we do business.

Up until now, social media has been optional for businesses. But Charlene Li, one of the world's leading thinkers on social media and co-founder of the Altimeter Group, a research-based advisory firm in San Mateo, Calif., predicts that companies that do not get on the social media bandwagon soon--within three to five years--will not survive. It's not an overstatement to say social media is transforming every aspect of business.

Hear that? That's the cheers of social media salespeople everywhere. We are no longer optional!

In fact, read the article, it quotes a bunch of people about how social media will take over the business world - and every one quoted is in the social media business.

It's not even subtle.

I think social media is great. I like being on Facebook and twitter. I think LinkedIn and Plaxo are a complete waste of time - for me. All these other sites? I have no use for them. I'm not a restaurant hoping the internet surfing tourist comes upon my site, and I'm not selling anything to the masses.

I provide legal representation to clients who have serious problems. My clients ask around. While they may find my name on the internet, its usually (75% I predict) after getting my name for someone. While I think it's important that people can find me on the internet, I'm not looking to grow my business via social media.

So social media marketing as a huge part of my practice is not my thing. If you're a lawyer, it shouldn't be yours either.

Most lawyers who have a big social media presence based on some paid strategy are worthless. I wouldn't hire them to tell me the time of day. They have invested in a big presence on the internet because it's the only way they can get clients.

So stop telling me that social media is taking over everything. It's not. People are still looking for real lawyers, who handle real cases, and get real referrals based on real results.

My clients don't want customer service via Facebook, and they don't want to interact on twitter.

There are real people doing real things, and causing real change - to the world, to the country, or to an individual sitting in their office.

The others are just talking.

About nothing.

Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.

Solving Your Last Minute Super Bowl Wine Issues

Yeah, this is really a post about wine. It's not only Sunday, but Super Bowl Sunday. I'm ditching Meet the Press for the local public radio jazz station, debating whether to read the paper, and having little interest in writing about the latest social media scamming lawyer on the internet, injustice of the Bar or debating how technology can change your life.

Let's talk wine.

You've got the chips, the wings, the meat is ready for the grill, the beer is chilled, and you just realized your collection of crap wine that people brought you at your last party 4 years ago may not suffice. That, or you know nothing about wine and fear you may open something that makes the wine snob at your super bowl party say "you have any beer?"

Don't worry. I will take care of you. I always do. I will give you recommendations, and all in a price range that will make the unemployed millenial and faux wino not think twice about running to the grocery store.

First though, a confession:

I don't think wine goes with football.

But on to the pairings and recommendations:

In general:

[1] Do not open more than 2 bottles (one white, one red) for every 10 people.

[2] Let the white warm up for 20 minutes before drinking.

(Every time I say this, some whiny girl says "but I liiike my white cold.") I know, because you've never tried it when warmed up a little. I'm not talking room temperature - although that will bring you in to a new dimension of taste - I'm talking about it not being consumed right out of the refrigerator. The flavor of white wine is enhanced when it's warmed up a bit. So be a little patient.

[3] Open your reds at 3 p.m.

Even your cheap reds will taste a bit better - even if they're still terrible because you're too cheap to buy something decent.

[4] Don't open expensive wine unless you have people that appreciate good wine.

Be cheap, and be proud. Nothing is worse than opening that $50 California Cab you brought back from Napa, only to watch your idiot friends and family pour it like they're getting soda from a fountain and trying to fill it to the top, and then saying "it's OK" when you ask if they like it.

If you have a bunch of non-wino's coming over, save the good stuff, screw them. You'll be happier. Trust me on this.

[5] No bottom shelf magnums



No matter how cheap you want to be, can we please stop with the Woodbridge and Frontera magnums?

Please?

[6] This last general recommendation is a little trick I use if you're putting out really good wine and want to have more than a glass for yourself. So keep it between us.

When you invite people over for sports, they generally like to have a cup they can easily hold and put down and pick up. Wine glasses do not provide the same ease of use as let's say, a Solo plastic cup.

Give your guests a Solo cup and offer them a soda or beer, or mixed drink. THIS IS IMPORTANT - have a bottle of vodka or rum in clear view. Get them filled up and then you can make your move.

Don't put out any wine glasses, and put the "good bottle" in an accessible but not -so-close-to-the-crowd place. You grab a wine glass and pour some. People will see this as "you're drinking wine," and generally won't ask for a glass. Obviously offer some to that one or two winos at the party.

SPECIFIC RECOMMENDATIONS ON WINE:

[1] Albarino



This Spanish white is rich and goes fantastically (not sure if that's an appropriate wine term) with flavored chips. I highly recommend pairing with the Tostitos Tequila Lime Chips.



Albarino is generally $10-$13

[2] Riesling

You just can't have a plate of shrimp and crackers and hummus out without a few bottles of this crowd pleaser. Women love it, guys won't admit that they do to, and the bottles are muy cute.

You can find a great Riesling for $10. Look for some from Washington State.



This Washington Hills Riesling is $9 at Total Wine.

[3] Sauvignon Blanc - FROM NEW ZEALAND




You like grapefruit? Citrus? you have $15? Get some. This is where the screwtops shine. Kim Crawford (Costco), White Haven. You will thank me profusely.

[4] Pinot Noir



I'm not a big pinot fan, so when I like it, trust me it's good. Belle Glos, maker of $40 and up pinots, graces us with their entry level Meomi. $18. (Costco). You'll love it.

[5] Bar-b-que?

Zinfandel.



Spicy. Interesting. Great with that slab of ribs you've been dousing in spices for 2 days.



Zen of Zin is about $10. It's ok, not great, but fine for the crowd. By the time they're on the Zin, hopefully they've had enough where it doesn't matter. Good Zin can cost $25 or more. But be careful with Zin. As with any wine, I'm not a big fan of buying from producers that make more than two varieties of wine. Stay away from producers that make five types of wine, and Zin.

Enjoy!

Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.

A Comprehensive Analysis Of The Kenneth Cole Twitter Disaster

Yesterday, Kenneth Cole, a company that makes clothes for cool people, and suits and shoes for those millenials that want to present the "fine, I'll wear a suit" attitude," tweeted this:



For those not familiar with twitter, it is a social media site where people can type 140 character messages.

In the rare occasion where people on twitter believe something important outside of twitter is going on, they create a hashtag. A hashtag allows someone to search all the tweets about the topic. This is done by using the # sign and adding a word.

For example:

#Starbucks

Or:

#JustinBieber

With the recent events in #Egypt (by the way, that hashtag doesn't do anything, I just wanted to add another example), there are a couple hashtags that people use, including #Cairo.

Kenneth Cole "tweeted" this I believe because they thought it was funny.

Some people thought it wasn't funny, and rather insensitive.

So the people who were offended, began typing, and typing, and typing.

Like this:



And Kenneth Cole took it down and apologized.

The lesson here is that if you say something that you think is funny, and a bunch of people think it's not funny, they will type about it. Then, others will join in and say things like "yeah, that wasn't funny."

Because of the internet, the people who think something is not funny, will get a bigger voice than...let's say they would in 1982.

And everyone will know that a bunch of people think you weren't funny.

So the marketing lesson here is that if you say something that people don't think is funny, or they think it is insensitive, they will write about it on the internet, and you will be able to read about it. The result is that some people may not buy your product anymore, and others will forget about it in 3 days.

So from a marketing perspective, if you think something is funny, remember, people on twitter may not think it's funny, and when they don't think it's funny, then people like me get to write about the important meaning of saying something that others don't find funny.

If you think something is funny, remember, it may not be viewed that way on twitter.

Ok?

Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.

Long Ago, And Oh So Far Away, RIP Karen

Pardon the interruption as I pay tribute to one of the purest voices in song from the 70's. Karen Carpenter who died February 4, 1983 and would have been 61 March 2.



Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.

Ditching The Ass Kissing Losers Who Lie To You About How Great You Are

Spend a few minutes, like 3, on any social media site and you won't miss the collection of circle-jerking nothings telling each other how great they are.

They're not. They know it, but the compliments, thank you's, and general ass kissing drowns out the reality that these people are nothings trying to appear like somethings.

It's an easy life - get a bunch of people who detest criticism, even the constructive type, and help each other appear like "rock stars" "gurus, and "experts." None of it is real. The closest these people get to reality is when they go from conference to conference to conference (not as speakers) to pump each other.

Spending your life being around people who won't tell you that you look fat, or that you're an idiot, or stupid, or that you are a complete moron for whatever you are thinking of doing, (or actually doing), makes you a complete loser.

You suck. You aren't doing enough. You are mediocre. You are lazy. You could be so much more if you would stop thinking you have accomplished anything.

These are things my closest advisors have told me. I keep them close. I listen to them. I take note. I think about what they are saying. I absorb their advice. I grow because of their "mean" words, and I hope for more.

Do you? Hope for more?

Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.

In Support Of SEO, Spam, and Porsches

The comment came to my blog:

Hello Dude, I really loved your blog. It appears that you have put a lot more work into it. I will keep your blog in my twitter so I can come back and see it again when it has some new information. Thanks a lot! (Link to lawyer's website deleted).

Dude! Thanks! Yes, I've put a lot more work into it, and I appreciate you keeping it in your twitter.

This of course is from a lawyer, couldn't you tell?

Well, it's actually not written by the lawyer, but by his (spam) SEO company.

All bloggers are used to spam. In the world of lawyer blogs, lawyers too lazy to create organic online content, have these SEO companies put comments in other lawyer's blogs in order to generate traffic.

The problem for these cheese ball lawyers is that most respectable bloggers won't post the comments - they are deleted and forgotten.

But I was in a mood this morning, so I took a gander.

The comment came from (no link love here) Rhode Island lawyer Joshua Mactaz' (spam) SEO company. The company is called (no link love here) Tangible Traffic.

Josh is a valued client of Tangible Traffic. I know this because he's offered his appreciation for all they have done by providing this testimonial:

“…that’s where the new Porsche came from! I’ve had the best 3 months in a row in the history of my firm. His name is Rob Bergeron and his company is Tangible Traffic.” – S. Joshua Macktaz, Esquire

I'm happy for Josh. I had a Porsche a few years ago. Nice car. I got it through hard work, never smart enough to just pay some (spam) SEO company to place silly comments in other lawyer's blogs that look like they were written by a 5 year old.

I don't know Joshua, nor any other lawyer in Rhode Island to whom to refer cases, but if you're looking for that perfect SEO package of linked-back-to-your-firm-with-every-key-word-written-on-the-site-and-blog, check him out.



Who doesn't want to drive a Porsche?

Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.