Let the Legal Conferences Of The Stupids Begin

Now that the holidays are over, it's time for failed and former lawyers turned tech hacks and social media experts to gather and give each other hugs and remind each other that lawyers who have offices and wear suits are part of the past.

Of course I am here to give you all the conference information you need. First, let's talk about

Legal Tech NY!!!!!

Legal Tech NY, otherwise known as LTNY, (self described as the "most important legal technology event of the year" and otherwise known as LTNY!!!!!! on twitter because the children can't communicate in something that's not an acronym (LOL!!!)) is the precursor to the ABA Tech Show, which is where the non-practicing LTNY attendees go next if they haven't maxed out their credit card or mommy and daddy will foot the bill.

Besides the 394 hours of e-discovery seminars, here's a couple others to catch at Legal Tech NY, sorry LTNY!!!!:

iLove for the iPad: Tips, Tricks & Apps: "Another burning question that continues to occupy minds of the legal technologists and their clients worldwide is
“Laptop or Tablet?” In a can’t-miss briefing by experts, this session “iLove for the iPad: Tips, Tricks and Apps,”
addresses ways the iPad can serve as an effective mobile tool for legal professionals and how it can enhance their
workflow and communication.

eDiscovery in a Facebook world: Social Retention & Its Requirements

Growing & Retaining Your Client Base Through Technology & New Media

One of the high notes of LTNY!!! is that none (update: after tweeting incessantly "I don't know if I'm going to LTNY in a pouty effort to get a free ticket, one former lawyer has been substituted in) of the usual suspects of failures are speaking. Good job LTNY coordinators. It's about time some conference realized that former and failed lawyers shouldn't be put in front of practicing lawyers learning how to better their practices.

And coming up this week...

MPF12!!!!! (social media folks love exclamation points)

That's the Marketing Partners Forum: Driving Innovation in a Transforming Legal Marketplace. I know, but just stay with me here, I never knew Lucy the marketing girl was now called a "Marketing Partner" either.

This conference, having darkened my door in Miami, has all the buzzword seminars:

Social Media to Drive Revenue

The Future of Marketing: Redesigning the Way You Do Business In The New World Order (New World Order is of course, social media)

Aligning Brand with Strategy (always need a branding seminar)

Effective Approaches to Selling and Building Relationships (selling relationships? Is that like prostitution?

Reaching GCs Through Social Media (Translated: how to stalk the people that really want nothing to do with you)

Web Trends 2012

Where’s the Money? (This just made me laugh)

And of course, my favorite social media guru, Adrian Dayton, will be there selling his new book "how I convinced everyone that after 8 months practicing law I could tell BigLaw how to use LinkedIn and Blogs to bring in business," or something like that.

Adrian is moderating a panel, which in social media guru land means "I AM SPEAKING AT A BIG NATIONAL CONFERENCE." Bob Ambrogi, for whatever reason, has agreed to be on this panel.

Have fun everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous comments are welcome as long as they say something relevant and half-way intelligent and arent a vehicle for a coward to attack someone. I trust you understand. Located in Miami, Florida, Brian Tannebaum practices Bar Admission and Discipline and Criminal Defense. He is the author of I Got A Bar Complaint.